Chocolate bunnies everywhere were persecuted on the streets and in the stores of first-world countries on Sunday, 8th of April in the annual culling of the beasts. The foil-skinned innocents were viciously mutilated and their precious eggs containing their offspring were broken open and munched on by hungry human "children."
But is this the full story?
No, dear readers, it is not. For I bring you shocking news today - THEY ARE PLOTTING AGAINST US! The "bunnies" that we so love at Easter, fun to unwrap and delicious to taste are culled for a reason. A reason long hidden from humanity for its shocking and horrifying nature.
These hippity-hoppity scoundrels have been plotting a takeover of the Western world for the past century! And they almost succeeded, until one brilliant madman decided to taste one of his prisoners of war. The rabbit was so tasty, that an idea was formed in this scientist's mind: WE CAN EAT THOSE WHO SEEK TO DESTROY US!
And so, good people, I implore you: THE HUNTS MUST CONTINUE! We must go on to seek out their nesting places, destroy their eggs, and rip off their ears! We are protecting the Earth and its peoples!
DEATH TO THE BUNNIES!!!
This is my indirect and slightly odd rant about how the whole chocolate-wrapped bunny thing makes absolutely no sense. Seriously, who came up with that idea?
Happy (belated) Easter everyone!